JMAN's and GLOW's Blue Lagoon
by Oiram
Summary: MegaUltraJMan and Gloweh finally experience the best thing of natural love... in a natural environment.
1. Chapter 1

**J-MAN's and GLOW's BLUE LAGOON**

**It was a sunny summer day. The water was clear blue and glistening from the sun. The waves were crashing the most peaceful way possible into the sand in the land. There were only two seagulls flying around the area. One of them decides to perch on the mast of a cruise ship. It then decides to do it's business on top of the mast and proceeds with that. The "business" then falls all the way down from the mast, landing onto the top of a head of a blond long-haired bearded individual laying on a chair and reading Nintendo Power. **

**Man: "WHAT THE FU-"**

**The man quickly covered his mouth in order to stop himself. The girl next to him, also laying on a chair and reading Nintendo Power, turns a page.**

**Woman: "Serves you right."**

**Man: "Wha….?"**

**The man put the Nintendo Power down and looked at the woman.**

**Man: "What did you say?"**

**Woman: "You heard me, J-Man."**

**J-Man stood up from the chair he was laying on. The woman turned another page.**

**J-Man: "Come on, Glow. That video was nothing. The man that hired me promised to make me forget about a terrible thing I once played. I don't even remember what it was, all I remember was Patrick Swayze from Red Dawn, Dirty Dancing, Next to Kin, Road House, Ghost, Donnie Darko, and The Fox and the Hound 2 crapping in my clothe hamper, Yoko Ono making a song and smoking a bong, Sloth from The Goonies impressions, a band called Baby Snout, Marilyn Manson and Lady Gaga like songs being sung, Stuart Little and Annette O'Toole doing something, Bob the Builder quotes, and Pikachu actually being nice to me. So yeah, don't remember a thing."**

**Glow puts down her copy of Nintendo Power and stands up from her chair.**

**Glow: "Well, couldn't you have it done somewhere else? Why did you have to go and do the Alan Moore Lost Girls video? It physically hurt me! I cannot believe you would put that over me!"**

**J-Man tries to get closer to console her.**

**J-Man: "Those girls were nothing but people who are basically Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, and Miley Cyrus in a blender. All I ever wanted was you, you, and you… and you, in a blender."**

**Glow backs up, not believing what he is saying, despite the fact that JMan seems very sincere.**

**Glow: "You are telling lies! You never loved me, YOU PIG!"**

**J-Man: "What?"**

**J-Man suddenly gets angry.**

**J-Man: "Oh, why you-"**

**Suddenly, both MegaUltraJMan and Gloweh's parents walk into the scene.**

**J-Man's mother: "What is going on here?"**

**J-Man's father: "What's all the ruckus?"**

**J-Man: "It- it- it-"**

**Gloweh: "He lied to me! HE LIED TO ME!"**

**Gloweh starts to sob. Her parents console her and take her down to the front deck of the cruise ship.**

**J-Man: "Wha….. Wha?"**

**J-Man's father: "Let's go son, we'll talk about this somewhere else."**

**J-Man and his parents walk away to the back deck. Cut to the night, where the parents are sleeping, but J-Man is still wide awake, thinking about Gloweh's pain.**

**J-Man's mind: "Why did this happen? I've known her for a long time, and because of something that I did to make myself better, she thinks I've turned against her."**

**J-Man gets up from his bed and starts to walk to the door. His mother suddenly starts talking in her sleep, startling J-Man**

**J-Man's mother: "Mmmm, come to me. Buffy, you don't need Angel, you need me. I will be your Willow from season four onwards."**

**J-Man sighs in relief and a bit of disgust. He slowly opened the door and slid through the crack and gently closed the door. He proceeds to walk down the cruise ship corridors and finally comes to the door that Gloweh is staying in. J-Man knocks on the door.**

**Voice: "Who is it?"**

**J-Man: "It's me, J-Man. Is Glow in there?"**

**Voice: "She actually went outside."**

**J-Man then quickly walked further down the corridor to find Glow. He gets out to see Glow on the front of the cruise ship, getting ready to do the Mario jump. J-Man, quick on his fat feet, does the Sonic dash and Mischief Makers grabs Glow before she could react.**

**Glow as she struggles: "Get the hell off of me! What are you doing?"**

**J-Man trying to keep Glow in line: "Uh….. Stopping you!"**

**Glow breaks free and kicks J-Man in the nuts. J-Man grabs them for a second, but then grabs Glow by the arm before she could escape.**

**J-Man: "Listen to me, God dammit! I am not telling lies, I am telling the truth!"**

**Glow: "You could've found some other way! There were so many ways! Why that one? WHY?"**

**J-Man tightens his grip more in exasperation.**

**J-Man: "Come the hell on! Why would you think I cared about them? I only care about you!"**

**Glow while punching J-Man in the arm: "Stop it! STOP IT!"**

**Suddenly, a loud thunder clash is heard, followed by the brightest lightening strike one has ever seen. This shocks, not literally, J-Man and Glow. A slew of rain pours down afterwards, drenching the two in a matter of milli-seconds. Waves start to form and crash the cruise ship. Thunder, lightening, waves, rinse and repeat. It all happens so fast that J-Man and Glow had no time to react. Everything suddenly went black.**


	2. Chapter 2

**J-Man slowly lifts his eyelids up, groaning and moaning. He then covers his face with his hand because the sun is so bright. He then gets sand all over his face and eyes, and screams as the sand burns his eyes.**

**J-Man: "OH MY FUCKING GOD!"**

**J-Man bounces right and his feet and dives into the water right in front of him. He washes himself off and is now more calm.**

**J-Man: "Whew… wait a second, where the hell am I?"**

**J-Man finds himself in a place similar to the look of Destiny Islands, minus the wooded buildings and passages.**

**J-Man: "How did I end up here? All I remember is a storm- HOLY SHIT! Where's Gloweh?"**

**J-Man quickly runs out of the water and starts running around the beach, yelling.**

**J-Man: "Gloweh! Gloooowwweh!"**

**There is no answer. After running for about two and a half minutes, he comes across the cruise ship, or, I should say, a very battered version of it, on land next to a bunch of rocks.**

**J-Man: "Oh fuck….. This is not turning out well."**

**J-Man runs towards the ship and then attempts to climb up the rocks to get into the ship. He slips and lands on his head in the sand once, but slowly recovers and makes his way again. He jumps right on to the deck, but part of it collapses bellow him, getting his left leg stuck in the wood.**

**J-Man: "Wonderful! This reminds me of the time when Tom Green sang the sausage song to make my ears bleed, and then he rapped a Pikachu doll."**

**Suddenly, a faint laughter is heard. J-man is startled, but then realizes:**

**J-Man: "Hey, I know that laugh anywhere."**

**Glow suddenly rolls from the stairs on the deck and continues to laugh. J-Man is relieved.**

**J-Man: "Ah, good. You had me worried. Can you help me get my leg out of this?"**

**Glow got control of her laughter in order to speak.**

**Glow: "Yeah right, you're not getting me to do that."**

**Annoyed, J-man then slams his fist through the planks and then pulled them away from his leg, freeing it. In the process, however, he gets splinters all over his hand.**

**J-Man: "Perfect. This reminds me of the time when Angelina Jolie wanted to adopt me when I was five."**

**Glow started to get up on her feet. J-Man walked towards her, but she started to turn away. J-Man cried out.**

**J-Man: "WAIT! What about-"**

**Glow: "Our parents are not here. There are a few corpses here, but non of them are our parents. I assume they escaped."**

**J-Man: "*clears throat* Well, that's good to know, but I was actually about to say we still need to talk."**

**Glow turns around to J-Man.**

**Glow: "I am not talking to you about that. Matter of fact, I'm not talking to you from this point on. HMP!"**

**Glow turns back and crosses her arms.**

**J-Man: "For the love of Jesus, Mohammed, and Buddha! Glow, I do love you! I've always loved you! From the very moment I first met you to now!"**

**Glow does not answer, she just stands there.**

**J-Man: "… You're serious? You just gonna stand there?"**

**Glow continued to do nothing.**

**J-Man: "Fine. I'll go and see what I can find."**

**J-Man walks pass Glow and goes through the wobbly door, only to fall through a hole in the floor. Glow runs towards the said place, gets on her knees, and looks down.**

**J-Man: "I'm fine. Dusty, but fine."**

**Glow shrugs and walks away.**

**J-Man: "This reminds me of the time when Chuck Norris rapped Oprah. I was scarred for life because Chuck Norris rapped Oprah."**


	3. Chapter 3

**Nearly just two hours afterwards, J-Man and Glow had made a camp fire from some of the loose wood from the cruise, and they are roasting Good Burgers on them.**

**J-Man: "Man, if only there were grapes, so I could become grape nosed-boy. Bloopity... bloopity."**

**Glow said nothing, and edged herself away from J-Man.**

**J-Man sighed: "Listen, I still love you. You are the only one that I feel is that right one. I'm not bullshitting, I'm serious."**

**Glow looks up at him: "I don't think I can ever look at you the same way again."**

**J-Man: "Give be a chance, I'm practically begging."**

**J-Man got on his knees and started mimicking a praying mantis.**

**Glow: "Hm. Fine, put you have to prove yourself."**

**J-Man: "Sure, how?"**

**Glow chuckled: "Like I'm going to tell you"**

**Glow started eating her burger, then J-Man sighed in exasperation started doing to same. It turned out that his burger was way too hot, so he jumped into the water and started drinking it. Glow laughed at this.**

**J-Man growled under his breath: "Nice, this reminds me of the time when Osama Bin Laden used me as a shield during his final shoot out."**

**Glow finished laughing, and then started to eat her burger again. J-Man walked back to the shore and started to try and think of something to get her back. He walked around while trying to think, when suddenly, he sees something shiny in the sand. J-Man looked more closely at it and sees that it looks like a small pearl. He then decides to pick it up from the sand and walks over to Glow to give it to her.**

**J-Man reaches the item out to her and says kindly: "For you, my darling."**

**Glow looks up in a "really?" look, which immediately turned to a "WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK!" look, followed by screams: "WHAT THE FUCKING FUCKITY FUCK ARE YOU TRYING TO DO? FOLLOW IN CHARLES MANSON'S FOOT-STEPS!"**

**J-Man gets out of his little trance and looks to see that what he has in his hand is a broken glass bottle. He immediately through the glass up in the air, and then it falls and slashed through his butt cheeks. J-Man clenched his teeth at this.**

**J-Man then says while still clenching: "Perfecto, this reminds me of the time when Charlton Heston nearly shot my balls off with his rifle."**

**Glow runs father away from J-Man, and then he slapped his face with his hand. We cut into when it is midnight. Glow is snoozing, but J-Man is still awake, feeling really, very bad. **

**J-Man starts to look up into the sky, and then starts to pray: "Hey, I know I'm not really the most religious guy, but I'm not sure how to approach this. If there is anything that you can do, just plain do it! K?"**

**Suddenly, one of the stars shined very brightly. J-Man is surprised, thinking that someone out there actually responded to him. The star starts to get brighter and brighter,until suddenly, the star turns out to actually be a mini asteroid the conks J on the head.**

**He then rubbed his head and mumbled angrily: "This remind me of the time when the Beatles tried to reform and wanted me to replace Lennon because he got shot by that Chapman dude. Suddenly, Yoko Ono came up and orgasmed marijuana all over me, which caused me to quit."**


	4. Chapter 4

**The very next day, J-Man finally got to sleep, when Glow kicked him hard in the stomach. J-Man chokes, waking up.**

**Glow tells him: "Listen, last night felt extremely uncomfortable for me. It was cold all around, the ground was bumpy, and I did not feel safe. I want you to go back to the cruise ship, and make an entire street from pieces of it."**

**J-Man, clearing his throat, mumbles: "You fuckin' kiddin' me?"**

**Glow then screams: "NOW!"**

**J-Man immediately got onto his feet and made a run for it. He got to the cruise ship and started to take a piece of wooden board off as soon as he got onto the ship.**

**Suddenly, he thought: "Wait, why am I doing this? Can't I use a room that is still ok on this cruise ship?"**

**So J starts to explore a little further into the ship. He walks into the hole from earlier, and this time, carefully steps over it, and continues walking, only to fall through another, bigger hole.**

**He lands onto the floor, once again, face first, and then states in pain: "I bet the guys from Jack-Ass have an easier time than this."**

**He gets himself back up, dusts himself off, and continues onward. He looks through many rooms, only to find then too damaged. The rooms that are nice on there own, have comatose bodies in them, and they stink so much and look so grotesque, that they make J vomit every ounce of fat that he has in his body, until he starts to look like Christian Bale in The Fighter. J-Man then continues on his un-merry way until he notices that he is at the point where the ship is a little more underwater. To be safe, J-Man threw a stick from the ground into the water, and saw electrical surges as soon as the stick hit the water. J-Man then noticed something else. He looked closer and saw that there is a radio in the water that is causing the electrical surges.**

**J-Man then thought: "Hm, why not try and use a cell-phone?"**

**J-Man then proceeds to find a cell-phone through the rooms. He searched his way through the desks, cabinets, and dead-men. He is grossed out about the deteriorated bodies, but because he previously threw up so much that he cannot spew out anymore than he already did. He does find a few cell phones, but they do not work for a variety of reasons, mainly either it is cracked, or the batteries are dead. J-Man got tired of walking through a what seems like a maze.**

**J-Man thought to himself: "This is worse than going through Jareth's Labyrinth and Pan's Labyrinth combined."**

**J-Man then finally found a cell phone that was perfectly functional.**

**J-Man screams: "YIPEE!"**

**When that happened, the sound of his voice caused the room he was in to cave in. J-Man quickly jumped out of the way, but accidentally drops the phone, and it gets crushed under the rubble.**

**J-Man said nothing at first: "…...COCK FUCK TITS FUCK ANUS FUCK SHIT FUCK DICK FUCK CUNT FUCK FAGGOT FUCK NIGGA FUCKIKITY FUCKTARDED RETARDED FUCK!"**

**At night, Glow is outside reading what is left of a magazine.**

**She commented "Hm, that Megan Fox does look quite tasty. Too bad she's a horrendously fucktarded actress."**

**Just then, J-Man walked back from the boat with a huge bag of wood and tools. Glow put down her magazine in a "really?" sort of way.**

**Glow asks impolitely: "And where have you been, J-Bastard?"**

**J put down all the wood and responded: "Well, I was getting all I thought we needed, and then I started thinking 'Why don't we build our own boat with the materials we have?' It can't be that hard."**

**Glow then got on her feet and retorted: "Do you have any idea where we are?"**

**J-Man responded hesitantly: "Er….. No."**

**Glow added: "And do we even have an idea on what weather we're going to expect out there?"**

**J-Man repeated: "Er….. No."**

**Glow then walked closer to J-Man in quickness and said: "Well, then our only safe bet is to use any wood here for a signal fire. That I can do. You, on the other hand, GET WORKING!"**

**J-Man feel on his back and then Glow walked away. J-Man then began his work on the houses. Day 3 on the island, J-Man almost finishes a small round hut that he worked all night on with no break.**

**Glow tells him: "No, I want it more like a cube."**

**J-Man sighed as he began to sledge hammer most of his work to the ground and start a new sleet. Day 6 on the island, J-Man has finished the house.**

**Glow, however, comments: "Hm, bigger is better, so make it bigger."**

**J-Man gritted his teeth a little and then is forced to destroy the house again in order to make the house taller and wider. Day 12 on the island, the house is finally completed to the way Glow wants it.**

**She said to J-Man: "Yeah, it'll do."**

**Glow looks around in the inside as J-Man asks: "So, which side do you want me on?"**

**Glow replied, not really paying attention: "Oh, any side is fine, just as long as you are not too close to me."**

**J-Man then walked over to the right when Glow noticed and screamed: "HEY! WHAT IN JESUS CHRIST'S NAME ARE YOU DOING?"**

**J-Man gets shocked by this and explains: "B- b- bu- but you said that it was OK."**

**Glow interrupted: "OUTSIDE, DUMBSHIT!"**

**J-Man is forced to walk out of the house, and then decides to use the wood left to make a huose for himself.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Day 18, J-Man has finally finishes his own house, exhausted beyond any possible belief. He lays down onto the sandy ground, with sweat all over his head and his long, blonde, grunge hair. Glow, however, is just laying on a towel, getting a tan. She is also eating Kentuckey Fried Chicken while J-Man is just acting like a hose. **

**J-Man, with nothing left to officially do, then gets an idea: "You know, we never actually gone into this jungle here. Makes me wonder..."**

**J-Man got off his behind and started to walk into the jungle.**

**He then stopped and said: "Yo, Glow-drian, I am going to find out if there are any any civilizations in this island that could help us out."**

**Glow replied with a barely audible and seemingly oblivious: "Have fun."**

**J-Man sighed at this response and asked: "Not even a a little 'don't fall in a hole'?"**

**Glow says nothing. J-Man then gets a depressing feeling in his stomach, but decides to strive on. He walks into the jungle for the first time. It is almost like the Jolly Green Giant made a mess to say the least. He just wanders around, following the thing the looks like the closest thing to a path he can see. J-Man then starts to sneeze. Apparently, whatever is in the air of the jungle, he is allergic to. **

**He keeps on uncontrollably sneezing: "Double Mother-Flap-Dickz, I really hope I find something useful!"**

**J-Man tries his best to make the best of these reactions. Suddenly, he slips on an old, mossy vine. This causes him to fall down face first into mud. He now looks like Clayface of the Batman fame.**

**J-Man then suddenly yells out: "FOR FUCKITY FUCKING FUCKTARDED FUCKERS FUCK SAKE! CAN ANYTHING GO RIGHT?"**

**J-Man gets a much deeer depressing feeling. He gets on his feet again, and attempts to wipe himself off as best as he can. With all of the mud all over him now, he can't see a dang thing. Once he wiped his eyes, he saw that everthing seems... misty. It is all white around him.**

**He thinks: "What the hell? Did the mud fuck up my brain?"**

**J-Man tries to walk the other direction, but for some reason, he feels drawn to this pure, white mist. It gives him more of a serene and peaceful feeling, almost to the point where he starts to think about wearing tie-dyed shirts and peace symbol necklaces. J-Man continues to go deeper into this mist as it gets thicker and thicker. Finally, the mist clears up, and he starts to see what looks to be an oasis. He marvels at this breath-taking site, but then immediately slaps himself.**

**J-Man thinks: "Get it together, this cannot be infront of me, I have to be seeing things."**

**J-Man then picks up a stick that is laying on the ground and throws it into the oasis. Nothing responds, so J-Man then picks up another stick and this time, hold it into the water. When he takes it out, it is exactly the same stick, just a little wet. J-Man then proceeds to slowly lower himself into the water, and it felt refreshing. J-Man knows enough to not to attempt to drink the water, believing that something bad could happen if he did. J-Man starts to relax in this oasis, when suddenly, he his giggles. He smacks the water out of his ears and starts to listen more closely. He hears more giggles, to which he begins to wonder if this is, again, a real thing, or some mind trip.**

**J-Man calls out: "Hello? Anyone there?"**

**Not only does no one respond to this, but the giggling continues to get louder.**

**J-Man tries again: "I SAID 'IS ANYONE THERE?' !"**

**Still no answer. **

**J-Man then starts to think: "What is this, laughing gas? Are Ceasar Romaro, Mark Hamill, Jack Nicholson, and Heath Ledger on this island somehow?"**

**J-Man goes around a rock, where the laughing is coming from, and when he turns his head to the right, a person falls towards him. J-Man winces as a reaction, but then notices that he felt nothing. He then sees the same man just sitting right infront of him, giggling. **

**J-Man reached to touch the man's shoulder and asks: "Are you OK?"**

**When J-Man reaches the shoulder, his hand goes right through it. This person is almost like a hologram. J-Man is shocked about this, and then gets shocked even more when the person tirned around, and it is revealed to be... J-Man, except completely naked. Gimage of Glow ten walks over to the image of J-Man, and she is also completely nude. This shocks the real J-Man so much that he almost passes out. **

**The image of Glow then asks the image of J-Man: "What's wrong?"**

**The image of J-Man responds: "I thought I felt something odd. Maybe the water is a little different in this part."**

******The image of **Glow then giggles: "Oh, you silly boy."

******The image of **Glow then picks up t**he image of J-Man and then they begin to make out by use of french kisses. The real J-Man, while creeped out by this, has an inner feeling inside his gut that he wished that this was what he was doing with Glow right now, but a crack appeared in the relationship. The real J-Man then shedded a tear. He then closed his eyes and wiped it off, but then the images disappeared when he opened them. **

******J-Man is surprised by this, and then hears a scream: "HEY!"**

******J-Man turns around to see Glow watching him,**

******He asks: "Glow? Is that really you?"**

******Glow replied: "Of course it's me, dumbass."**

******J-Man then asked: "What are you doing over here?"**

******Glow then replied while tripping over her sentence somewhat: "I, er say- I mean, heard you- No wait! I just came to see if I could find some water because we're running out of water bottles."**

******Glow then proceeded to drink the water. J-Man tried to stop her, but he was too late. Fortunately, the water does not affect Glow.**

******She then queried: "Well, the was wonderful."**

******She then looked angrily at J-Man: "Now you go back. Someone has got to make sure that the signal fire is working."**

******J-Man then proceeds to walk back to the camp, but then as he walks past Glow, he notices a subtle "I'm glad you're OK" look on Glow. This makes him more hopeful for the future.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Day 19 on the island, daily routine of wake up, start signal fire, eat something, explore a little farther through the jungle, and then go to bed is done. Day 20, same thing. Day 21, repeat for a third time. **

**Day 22, J-Man wakes and then goes over to Glow's hut to ask her: "Isn't this starting to seem hopeless? I mean, we've been doing this for 20 days-"**

**Glow tiredly interrupts him "22 days."**

**J-Man continues "Whatever. I'm saying that we probably are not going to find anybody via smoke signals."**

**Glow then gets up and snarls "And I'm saying that's bullshit. We are going to get someone's attention eventually, I'm sure of it!"**

**J-Man shakes his head in distrust, an then asks "Why don't ou DEFINE eventually for me, cause we could end up being older than Clint Eastwood!"**

**Glow ignores J-Man and proceeds to start the fire. **

**Glow then comments "You know what a big problem of yours is? You give up too easily."**

**J-Man gets irritated while saying "I DO NOT! I made it through that piece of shit, I Wanna Be The Guy, which is how... we met."**

**Glow stops the fire starting for a minute when she heard this. Glow then starts to recollect the trials of J-Ma's playthrough of I Wanna Be The Guy.**

**She then comments "Oh yeah, I remember that. That was soooo funny. I remember I was laughing out tears when the game froze just as you were about to past that moving spike wall in the Kirby stage."**

**J-Man dreads that horrid memory, but doesn't mind at this point, because it seems to be bringing back the connection between him and Glow.**

**J-Man then recollects "How about the time when I was jumping over a huge gap in the Ghosts 'n Goblins segment and then a piece of the cliff fell, causing me to fall in the spikes?"**

**Glow comments "Oh yeah, that was hysterical!"**

**Glow started to giggle about that. J-Man started to giggle.**

**Glow then reminds him "Or that one time when you thought you've made it through a lazer stage, but then one extra lazer came and blocked the path that leads out of the room?"**

**J-Man starts to laugh hard at that "YEAH! That was such a terrible level!"**

**Glow and J-Man started wail out and roll over in the sand, getting the sand all over each other. They finally calmed themselves down, caught their breath, and looked eachother in the eye. They looked happy at first, but then Glow reverted back to anger mode.**

**She unhappily said "Yeah, so? That was just a fuckin' dumbshit game! In real life, you just give up on hope for everything!"**

**J-Man retorted with "Well, there is one thing that I haven't given up on yet."**

**Glow asks "What's that?"**

**J-Man responded sincerely "The chance to have us be together again."**

**Glow rolled her eyes at the comment.**

**J-Man continued on "Come on! We go together like Leia and Solo, like McCracken and Faust, like Pitt and Jolie, like-"**

**Glow jokingly interrupted "Affleck and J. Lo?"**

**J-Man gets irritated about that, and then asks "Glow, what is it you want?"**

**Glow turns away from J-Man and says "I already told you, dumbass. You have to figure it out for yourself."**

**J-Man turned away from Glow in frusatration. As he calms down, however, he starts to ponder Glow's words. J-man goes into deep thought as he goes through every possible idea. J-Man then finally gets closer and closer to the possible thing that Glow wants. J-Man then turns back to Glow and edges himself towards her, but slowly and softly so that she does not hear him. J-Man edges closer and closer to Glow. He gets a tingling goose-bump like feeling inside of him. Just as he is about to get to Glow, a faint scream is heard. J-Man looks around, but sees nothing, so firgures that it was just the wind. J then poceeds to try again, but the scream happens again, louder this time. **

**Glow then turns her head and asks "Did you say something?"**

**J-Man responds while edging back "Nope. That weas not me."**

**The screech then just roars right towards J-Man and Glow, making them both jump right onto their feet. **

**They then think simultaneously "We are so in deep shit."**

**They then start to walk into the jungle to follow the scream, and as they got closer to the source, they start to hear the noise og bongo drums being beaten. They finally got to the source, where they see that three tribal men are banging on drums, while two other tribal men are forcing a tribal woman to walk up to a pedestal with one more tribal man standing behind it. This tribal man behind a pedestal opens up a scroll and reads it in some weird and nonsence language.**

**J-Man nudges Glow and whispers to her "Pssss, do you think we should attempt to save her?"**

**Glow then sees that tears are dripping down from the tribal woman's face, prompting Glow to say "That's good enough for me."**

**J-Man begins to say "Wha-?"**

**Then Glow jumps out and stomps on one of the bongo drum guys, squishing the guys brains out. all the other tribal people jump back in horror, and J-Man is kinda shocked himself to see Glow perform a feat like that. The bongo men then stop drumming and start to go after Glow.**

**J-Man gains enough courage to jump out of hiding too and screams out "Bone-Saw is ready!"**

**Glow comments while kicking one of the tribal guys in the nards "It didn't help the guy on defeating Spider-Man"**

**J-Man just sighs as he takes one of the bamboo sticks at his side and uses it to whack the other bongo guy in the head, causing him to get his head slashed on a sharp rock. J then sticks the bamboo stick into the mouth of the man who got his testicles kicked earlier, making him choke to death. While all of that was going on, the remaining tribal guys tie the girl up to a thick tree and take out swords to fight the main heroes with. Glow takes J-Man by the stomach and throws him up in the air, causing the tribal men to stop and look up. This gives Glow time to take one of the swords and cut the right arm off of the main tribal man, causing blood to start spurting out of his arm. While he fell down on the ground and screamed, the other two tribal men lunge towards Glow. Glow immediately swang her sword around in the Zorro style, causing the two tribal men to become the human equivalent of chop suey. The body parts of those men fall onto the ground and Glow turned her back as she took a rest on the hilt of her sword. The tirbal man leader managed to get the bleeding to stop and slowly got back up with a dagger in his remaining hand. He prepares to shove the dagger into the back of Glow, and the tribal woman is about to warn her, but J-Man finally comes back down from the sky and lands onto the tribal man. This squishes the tribal man flatter than a pancake, causing all of his blood, guts, and bones to be launched out of his body and cover everything in the area area.**

**Glow turns to J-Man in digust and says "Eeeeeewwwwww! Now I'm going to have to clean this out for a while!"**

**J-Man responds "Well, I saved your life, didn't I?"**

**Glow begins to say something, but stops immediately to think about what J-Man had just said.**

**She then says "Yeah, you're right. "**

**J-Man gets closre to her and vice versa.**

**Glow then continues "I guess I owe you thanks."**

**J-Man responds with "Oh, you owe me more than that."**

**Just as the two were about to touch eachother, the tribal woman starts shouting her head off. Glow and J-Man get pulled out of the moment to look at the woman. **

**J-Man and Glow then look back at eachother and J-Man says "We should probably help her."**

**Glow quickly says "Yeah, we should."**


	7. Chapter 7

**The two go to the woman and untie her from the tree. J-Man and Glow then picked her up and helped the woman balance on her feet. The woman than picked berrys off of a nearby tree and offers them to the two. J-Man and Glow looked at eachother in a "I'm not sure about this" look, but the tribal woman persisted. Finally, J and Glow hesistantly took the berrys and proceeded to eat them. Once that had happened, J-Man and Glow started to have a blur in their vision, as well as a woozy stomach. The two then turned green and started to vomit onto eachother uncontrollably for two minutes. Once they had finally stopped, their stomach felt better and the vision went back to normal.**

**The tribal woman than began to talk in English saying "Welcome to the Blue Lagoon."**

**J-Man and Glow do a double take and then J-Man asks "Wait, you speak English?"**

**The tribal woman explains "No, you hear English thanks to these special berrys. Don't ask me how, I have no idea how they work either, but they are quite useful. Now for names, I am known as xAshleyMx. It is nice to meet you."**

**Glow and J-Man are somewhat relieved to meet a sane person on the island.**

**J-Man does question "Wait, isn't that the name of a well known artist on the internet?"**

**The woman is confused "In...ter...net?"**

**Glow then transitions "Maybe it's just some weirdo coincidence. Anyways, people know me as Gloweh, or just simply Glow. This young fucker right here Is known by many names. J-Man. Ultra J-Man. Mega Ultra J-Man."**

**J-Man adds "Yep, that's basically it."**

**xAshleyMx says "It is very wonderful to meet you. I cannot thank you enough!"**

**The wo main heroes then asked simultaneously "What was happening there."**

**J-Man and Glow looked at eachother in annoyance and xAshleyMx explains "My people... are not very good people. They mostly treat woman as slaves, raping and sacrifice them very frequently. I was next in line. They had already killed my older sister, Fyre-Flye, which was when it began to dawn on me just how horrible my tribe's way of life was."**

**Glow feels her pain and tries to console her with "I'm so so SO sorry."**

**J-Man also feels xAshleyMx's pain, and then asks "Well, maybe we could work together. You see, we've been stranded here on this island for quite some time, and we need a way out. If you can help us, we'll give you a whole new life to live."**

**xAshleyMx explains "I thank you for your hospitality, but you must understand. Someone needs to stay behind in order to keep my tribe from hurting people any further. This is a task I have taken upon to do myself. Who knows what may happen if my tribe over populates."**

**Glow then says proudly "We can take them on."**

**J-Man adds "Yeah! I've taken on metroids, clancers, crash dummies, the devil, boxers and spikes and apples that fly in which ever direction. I'm sure I can take this on."**

**xAshleyMx begs "I implore you not to! You have no idea what my people are capable of!"**

**Seeing how sincere xAshleyMx looked J-Man responded "OK, OK. Can you still help us?"**

**xAshleyMx then says "I may be able to."**

**xAshleyMx pulls out a medallion and gives it to J-Man**

**xAshleyMx continues "This medallion here would give you anything you most desired. The only thing it cannot give you is the death of a person or a number of people. Thatr would explain why I did not use it myself."**

**Glow then asks "How do you use it?"**

**xAshleyMx explains "Who ever is given this medallion just has to wish hard really hard for what he wants so that something will happen. This can only happen once, and it is very specific on what one truely wants the most, so choose wisely."**

**xAshleyMx then sharply turns her head. J-Man and Glow heard nothing, so they get surprised by the sudden head turn.**

**xAshleyMx turns her head back to the two main heroes and explains "I must go now. Stay far away from this jungle at all times. Remember, the medallion only works with the one who is chosen to possess it. Death cannot be uttered in the wish, and only get one chance. I leave you ow with a glimmer of hope."**

**xAshleyMx leaves J-Man and Glow and the two both decide to go back to the beach.**


	8. Chapter 8

**J-Man and Glow make there way back to the beach, and sit down. J-Man looks at the medallion in his hand and feels uneasy goosebumps all around himself. Glow gets the same feeling as well. J-Man suddenly starts to make a bunch of grunting noises, which make Glow bounce back a little. **

**She then asks "What in the fuckin' heaven and hell are you doing? A Lindsay Lohan impression?"**

**J stares at her and replies "No, FUCK NO! I'm tryin' to get my mind cleared up so I do not make a mistake on this. It is crucial!"**

**Glow realizes this and then thinks about it for a minute.**

**She then suggests "Why don't you try doing that AWAY from that thing and then come back once you're ready."**

**J-Man asks "Are you sure that would work?"**

**Glow assures him "Of course. I have some fai... I mean, I think it will work."**

**J-Man ponders a little bit and then says "Well, I'll stay off it a few days and see if it works."**

**J-Man then puts the medallion down on the ground and walks away into his hut. **

**He then tells Glow "Listen, this will take a lot of work, so be very quiet. Bring food in periodically, and make sure even thing is secure."**

**Glow replies with "Alright."**

**So J sits in his hut, meditating, and waits. He sits there for days, trying to cleanse his mind when he can, all while Glow gives him food and water to nourish. Six days pass, and it seems like there's no signs of change. Glow is worried about this, wondering if J-Man turned into a vegetable. On Day 28, at night, Glow decides to walk into the hut to make sure J-Man is OK. Just as she's about to open the door, J-Man bursts out, throwing her off her feet ands onto her back.**

**He screamed "I HAVE THE POWER!... I mean, I completely cleansed my mind. Now I'm ready."**

**Glow noticed that J's eyes were completely bloodshot, causing her to be concerned for him, but she still consealed this. **

**She just simply asks "Are you sure about this?"**

**J-Man truthfully attempts to reassure Glow "I am, infact, ready for this. I am sure this will work."**

**J-Man then walks up to the medallion that was just laying on the beach, picks it up with his right hand, and begins to stare at it. J-Man strains for the right thought to pop in his head while Glow on-looks the scene. She fears that J-Man might snap, and mess everything up for them. J-Man strains harder and harder, so much so that veins start to grow to the size of Godzilla on J-Man's head. This causes Glow to wet herself. **

**Finally, J-Man screams "I GOT IT!"**

**He finally stops straining and brings his face closer to the medallion. It did nothing.**

**Glow then asked "Did it work?"**

**J-Man looks away from the medallion to talk to Glow "I don't know. Maybe I can tr-"**

**Suddenly, the medallion started to burn J's skin, causing him to scream "MOTHER FUCKING NIGGA CUNT SUCKER FAGGOT!"**

**He dropped the medallion, and then it immediately flew to the sky, causing a colossal firework explosion that light up the sky like it was day for a minute, and almost blinded both J-Man and Glow. Chunks from the explosion fall and nearly hit the two, but they dodged the projectiles. Their huts and food are not so lucky. They got crushed and burned to a crisp. **

**Once the entire thing dies down, J-Man looks at his hand to see the design of the medallion imprinted on it, making him comment "Just like a regular Arnold Toht. Fuckin' perfect!"**

**Glow then tries to balance back on her feet and asks J-Man "You didn't wish for the thing to blow up, did you?"**

**J-Man replied "No, fuck no. I assure you, I wished for something."**

**Glow then asks "What was it?"**

**J-Man then starts to look around, and sees nothing.**

**Glow asks again, only louder "What Was It?"**

**J-Man said "It doesn't matter, it looks like nothing happened."**

**Glow then stomps her way to J-Man and bitterly asks "You didn't wish us off this island? Wasn't that the most desired thing?"**

**J-Man replies hesitantly with a "Well, I-"**

**Glow interrupts him "YOU FUCKING DUMDSHIT FUCKTARDED RETARDED FUCKTARD! WE ARE NOW TRAPPED FOREVER THANKS TO YOU! I WISH I HAD THE MEDALLION SO I COULD HAVE GOTTEN US OF THIS AMUS ISLAND! I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN!"**

**J-Man bitterly wipes all the spit that landed on his face and shrieked at Glow "OH YEAH? WELL I'D RATHER WATCH DATE MOVIE, EPIC MOVIE, MEET THE SPARTANS, DISASTER MOVIE, VAMPIRES SUCK, AND FRED THE MOVIE BACK TO BACK FIVE MILLION TIMES A DAY BEFORE I LOVE YOU AGAIN!"**

**J-Man begins to walk away from Glow while she screams "OH YEAH? WELL I'D RATHER READ MY IMMORTAL AMD CUPCAKES BACK TO BACK TEN MILLION TIMES A DAY BEFOR I LOVE YOU AGAIN!"**

**J-Man then turns around and screams "WELL I RATHER PLAY E.T. THE VIDEO GAME INFINITY AND BEYOND BEFORE I LOVE YOU AGAIN!"**

**Glow gasps at this, and begins to have tears trinkle down her eyes.**

**She then screams "FUCK OFF!" to J-Man**

**J-Man screams "FUCK YOU TOO!" right back.**

**He continues to walk away until he could no longer be seen. Glow sits down and weeps more. Eventually, she goes to sleep, but not peacefully. As she gets the closest thing to a rest, a shadowy figure looms over her in the darkness, licking it's lips.**


	9. Chapter 9

_**A/N:This was posted on 7/10/11. Why am I saying this? Well, you'll find out when you read this chapter.**_

**J-Man decides to sleep next to the remains of the cruise ship from earlier. He pondered his relationship with Glow thinking that maybe it just was not meant to be. J then attempts to rest up for the night. He gets up in the next morning, and decides to check out Glow to see how she is doing. When J-Man gets back to the huts however, he notices that Glow is nowhere to be seen. He begins to frantically look around the beach, but sees no sign of her. After looking just a little bit longer, he notices that there looks like there was a struggle. J-Man says to himself "Oh my Gods! Did those tribal people find her?"**

**J-Man then noticed that there are sneaker prints walking away fron the struggle, which he then thought "Sneakers? Tribal men make- Wait... It- It can't be."**

**J-Man immediately beings to run through the sand while following the tracks. After about 2 minutes, he comes across a house in the middle of the sand. J-Man then thinks "Pigsty that looks like the construction workers forgot to demolish it? Yep, my wish has come true... In the most fucking horrible way imaginable."**

**J-Man begins to hear a slight muffled noise coming from the house. He knows it's a death trap to walk into the house, so he decides to walk around the house and follows the muffled noise from outside. J-Man manages to find a window that shows where the muffled noise is coming from: Gloweh. J-Man is in shock to see her in bondage, struggling to get out of the chair she's strapped down to. A show of foot steps is then heard and J-Man is forced to hide under the window. A man then walks through the door and proceeds to Gloweh. This man says "Are you gooing to stop screaming now?"**

**Glow nods a yes and then the man takes the bondage off her mouth, but then Glow starts screaming "HELP! HELP ME!"**

**The man then slaps Glow across the face, causing blood to come out of her nose and mouth. J-Man is cringing at the sounds of it. The man then puts the bondage back onto Glow's mouth and says "You better stop screaming when I come back, or ELSE!"**

**The man leaves to feces infested room, and Glow attempts to free herself from the chair once again. J-Man then carefully and quietly climbs through the window and proceeds to walk as sneakingly as possible to Glow. She sees J and is astonished. J-Man put a "shush" sign to Glow and then unties her from the chair. Glow then whispers angrily "Chris-Chan? Christian Weston Chandler? You wished his entire house to be on this island?"**

**J-Man responded while blushing in embarrassment "Er, yes."**

**Glow then asks while standing up from the seat "How could you do that? How did this come in your mind?"**

**J-Man responded "Well, I figured that you might have wanted to go on a Chandler killing spree, so I wished for them to be here so that we could proceed with that."**

**Glow replies with a little understanding "Oh... Well, I've always wanted to do that."**

**J-Man replies "I know."**

**Glow then gets her voice volume increasing higher without realizing it and says "You should have just told me, though. That way, I would have been on my guard. I mean, the fucktard jumped me in the middle of the night and I could do nothing about it!"**

**J-Man retorted, also with him unaware of his voice volume getting increasingly higher "Well, maybe if you weren;t so harsh to me last night, I would have been there to protect you!"**

**Glow rebounded "Yeah right! He would have raped you! It would have been easier if you had just wished us home!"**

**J-Man replied "I was trying to do that thing in finding something you liked!"**

**Glow then screamed "WELL, THIS WASN'T IT, AND GETTING US HOME WASN'T IT EITHER, ASSHOLE!"**

**Glow just realized what she said and started mumbling and stuttering"I- I- I- meant- I-"**

**J-man is surprised about what she said and responded "Getting off the island was not what you wanted either? Then wha-"**

**Just then, an older man slamed the door open, making J and Glow jump back in fright. Once the older man walks through the door, and menacingly asks "What are you damn trespassers doing in my damn house?"**

**J-Man and Glow scream "IT'S THE INTERNET LUMBERJACK!****"**

**The two then attempt to run out through the window, but the Internet Lumberjack managed to get infront of the two and swing his axe at them. The axe barely misses the duo and they attempt to run out of the room to the main door. Just when they get close, they trip over a obese woman, just laying on the floor sleeping. The trip knocked their noggins on the floor, and everything seemed hazy for a minute. Once their eyes were normal again, they see the Internet Lumberjack looming over them, ready to swing his axe once more. J-Man tries to reason with him "Listen, Bob- That's your name, right? Anyways, we really mewant no harm-"**

**Glow interrupts "Yeah, except we really wanted to see your pathetic family die."**

**J-Man sarcastically says "Thanks, Glow. That was really helpful."**

**Bob then begins to swing the axe downwards, but it only cuts a locke of J and Glow's hair. They see the piece of their hair and both get demonic looking while saying "People like our hair. DON'T MESS OUR HAIR!"**

**Bob attempts yet another axe swing, but J and Glow grab the handle and make it swing right into Bob's cock and nards, making him scream "BLOODY MURDER!"**

**J-man and Glow then pushes the axe further, causing it to slice in half upwards through Bob's body, killing him. After getting the tate of blood in their mouths, J-Man and Glow move on to the obese**** sleeping lady. J-Man kicks her in the stomach, but the blbber was so squishy, that his right leg bounced backwards and go up J's anus, making him scream "MOTHER-FUCKING NIGGA CUNT FAGGOT!"**

**The obese woman barely wakes and sleepily mumbling asks "What assery is this?"**

**Glow replies while pulling J-Man's leg out of his ass "Well, simple Babera, orI should say Snorlax. We are hear to take you down."**

**Barbera asks "Where? Hollywood?"**

**J-Man angrily replies "No, fuck no!"**

**Glow then forces Barbera's mouth open and J-Man punches right through it, splutting out the back of her head. J-Man then continues "To HELL!" and makes his fist lift through the remaining skull and brains of Barbera, making them fly all over the house.**

**After this happens, another man, not Chris-Chan, walks out of the closet and J-Man and Glow step back in surprise. The man says "Do not be frightened. I am actually more intelligent than my... ugh... family."**

**J-Man and Glow start to put their guard down as the man takes out a lighter and cigeratte, and places the cigeratte in his mouth while trying to put the lighter on. He continues "I am Cole Smitty reviewer of films and... ugh... half-brother(he cringes while admitting this) of Chris-Chan. I was planning to kill these guys myself, but you two have done good work so far. The world would be proud of you."**

**J-Man and Glow seem to start to return to sanity in seeing that there still seems to be hope, but just when Cole finally get his lighter on, he says "Oh, and Toy Story 3 was the biggest piece of shit I've ever seen. Worst than Manos, Garbage Pail Kids, and Baby Geniuses 1 & 2."**

**J-Man and Glow demonically scream "WHAT?" and jump onto Cole, causing the lighter to be launched into the colossal body of the headless Barbera. **

**J-man and Glow start to tear Cole's body apart with their mouths, while screaming "HOW COULD YOU! THAT WAS THE BEST SHIT EVER! THOSE TOYS MAKE US CRY AND ORGASM!"**

**Cole is now torn apart, all blood, guts, bone, and molecules spread around the floor. Suddenly, Chris-Chan walks into tha carnage and sees his dead family, with J-Man and Glow all cover with blood, skin, and foam as if they were rabbid animals. Chris-Chan screamed "HOW COULD YOU? MY FAMILY, TORN APRT BECAUSE OF YOU! WHY?"**

**J-Man and Glow satanically replied "Because you are the most retarded piece of shit mistake on the Earth. Real autistic people are smarter than, and therefore, deserve nights in bed with Tara Strong, Andrea Libman, Ashleigh Ball, and Tabitha ST. Germain."**

**Chris then gets raging mad, and screams "OH YEAH, WELL PUT 'EM UP, I'M NOT SCARED-"**

**Suddenly, J-Man and Glow regain sanity when they start sniffing a weird smell, to which they ask "Did you smell that?"**

**Chris suddenly changes from ferious to curious, replying "Yeah, I do."**

**After a quick search around the room, J-Man and Glow realize that the smell is coming from the body of Barbera, which is getting red hot and makng the sound of whistling. The duo look at eachother, and then dash straight out the door. Chris sees the change in Barbera's body and tearfully says "You're alive! I knew you wouldn't-"**

**The house explodes. J-Man and Glow barely escape the fires and rubble. After avoiding those obstacles, they fall over and the sand, laughing hard. They continued to laugh while saying thing like "That was fun!" and "She just went boom!"**

**After a little bit, J-Man suddenly frenched Glow on the mouth. He immediately took his lips off of hers, and appologizes "I'm sorry, I don't know wh-"**

**Glow then frenches J-Man on the lips, making him shocked. After she finished, she says "You found it."**

**J aks "Found what?"**

**Glow explains "What I wanted."**


End file.
